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Golf Humour: Pg2
Humour Page 1 * Humour Page 2 * Humour Page 3 * Humour Page 4
Studies show that laughing and having a generally happy outlook on life improves your golf game...but not as much as a practice green.
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If I Were to Die? |
man asks his wife the following questions after a long discussion about her life if he were to die before her.
Husband: "Honey, if I were to die before you, would you remarry?"
Wife: "Well Dear, after a long time I might get lonely, so I think I would."
"Honey, would you let him sleep in our house?"
"Well Dear, I love this house and I know you want me to be happy, so I think I would."
"Honey, would you let him drive my new car?"
"Well Dear, I don't like that little thing, so I think I would."
"Honey, would you take him to the Country Club?"
"Well Dear, you know I love it there, and that's were all my friends are, so I think I would."
"Honey, would you let him use my new golf clubs??"
"Absolutely not, he's a lefty." |
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Wooded Ravine |
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One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing. Ben sliced his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabbed his 8-iron and proceeded down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. Ben searched diligently throughout the thick underbrush and suddenly spotted something shiny. As he got closer, he realized that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton laying near an old golf ball. Ben excitedly called out to his golfing partner - "Hey Thomas, come here, I got big trouble down here." Thomas came running over to the edge of the ravine and called out: "What's the matter Ben?" Ben shouted back in a nervous voice, "Throw me my 7-iron! Looks like you can't get out of here with an 8-iron."
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Engineers |
| One day two engineers were out playing a round of golf. They come to a par 3 with a blind tee shot. Both tee off and watch their balls sail toward the flag. When they get to the green, one of the balls is perched on the lip of the cup and other is in. As it turns out, both were playing Titleists #3s. A heated argument ensued and they finally decided to let the club pro sort the mess out. The pro walked to the hole with them and looked at the ball on the green and then the ball in the hole. He turned to the two engineers in disgust and asked, "Okay. Which of you is playing the white ball and which is playing the orange ball?" |
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Golf Nut
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A couple met at Hilton Head and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue the relationship after their vacations were over.
"It's only fair to warn you Jody." he said. "I'm a golf nut. I live, eat, sleep and breathe golf."
"Well, since you're being honest, so will I." Jody said. "I'm a hooker."
"I see." he said. Then brightening, he smiled. "It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball." |
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WATCHING ME |
Bob stood over his tee shot on the 18th hole for what seemed like forever. He'd waggle, look down, look up, but never start his backswing.
Finally David, his playing partner, asked, "Why on Earth are you taking so long to make this shot?"
"My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse, and I want to make this shot a good one," said Bob.
"Good Lord," said David, "you haven't got a chance of hitting her from here." |
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